Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
