weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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