just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
