i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
