I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
