haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
