How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
soo... how was my night?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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