Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
dude. I can hear the air.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
