Swine flu. Run for my life!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize