she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
