i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
