More tranny stories later!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
