Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You were trust falling into bushes
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
