girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
