There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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