My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
