Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
sex in a hospital.. check
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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