Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
