He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
