I puked a lego.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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