I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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