The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
