I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
where does the pee come out of this thing
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
