just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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