I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
