You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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