i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
