oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
jump out the window naked night went bad
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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