I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
