Porn is love you can see.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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