Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
