don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can't turn off my feet"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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