Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
