I think I am morally bankrupt
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
