it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im holly from the hills drunk
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
