I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
