I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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