You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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