Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We just shotgunned beers for America
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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