just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
