member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize