oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize