Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
