So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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