you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
