my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
