Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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