I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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