the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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