So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
